Can thoughts be punished? A Chinese philosophy claims that lashing the waves will result in more waves. The idea is not unique. In English, it is believed that no one can stop thoughts but us. When we consider the flow of thoughts that we cannot control, we have three choices: hiding them, accepting them, or avoiding them. Different people will have different choices and outcomes. Among them, accepting thoughts can be an effective approach to teach young people who struggle to adapt to a new environment because they may find it difficult to block out unwanted thoughts. In other words, they can stop thinking negatively and shift towards positive thinking if we assist them in applying acceptance rules to the thoughts they cannot control. Accordingly, unlike the waves we mentioned before, which are shapeless and uncontrollable, they can manage our thoughts that they can take care of within a time framework.
Acceptance is an attempt to accept thoughts that have never been accepted by us. It may sound weird, as it feels like a kind of punishment. When we say “yes,” we are admitting that acceptance is a process of challenging our original thoughts. When we say “no,” we are advancing our levels of perspective, but we must experience a mental conflict before it becomes available to us.
For example, correcting unnecessary behavior for a child can be challenging. Imagine seeing someone carrying their teeth case all the time after a tooth straightening surgery. You might feel that it is not acceptable. Taking action, such as removing their teeth case, can help to correct the behavior. This may seem obvious, but to the concerned party, it is not easy. They may have a belief of unsafety when taking away their teeth case, which can make it hard for them to move on. They may feel that they can be hurt if the case is separated from them.
However, from our perspectives, we believe that being away from the teeth case may not necessarily lead to any changes. The concerned individual may only truly understand the reason behind their discomfort once they have experienced it firsthand. Before they throw out the case, they may feel as if they are being punished due to the involvement of others. This can lead to reluctance on their part to collaborate with others.”.
However, let’s get back to the topic of thoughts, rather than behaviors. Punishing thoughts only tends to reinforce them, rather than eliminate them. Thoughts are often deeply ingrained over time and may relate to a person’s behavior. For instance, let’s refer back to the example of carrying around the teeth case that we mentioned earlier. What we need to do is to address the behavior that is not acceptable to the community, but we must also acknowledge that we cannot control a person’s thoughts that lead to such behavior. Helping them to remove their unnecessary behavior can ultimately help them overcome their inner struggles. However, people may not be willing to help themselves out of their behaviors initially. They may feel impatient when others question their unnecessary behavior, until they realize that they are losing something as they continue the habit. Gradually, they may come to understand that the more times they carry the case, the less confident and safe they feel. In essence, throwing away the teeth case can help them discard the worries that they carry with them all the time. Think about the scenario, if we do not take away their case, but instead blindly criticize the behaviors, and regardless of their feeling, take whatever way we can do to stop thoughts that may lead to the behaviors, we are punishing the thoughts. However, is punishing thoughts helpful?
Studying how positive thoughts correlate with good performance may not always be useful. Even excellent students may lose motivation after experiencing numerous failures, and it can be challenging to separate their negative emotions from their abilities. Thus, our prior efforts to support them may become ineffective. Instead, finding new ways to help them regain their motivation and change their mindset can provide opportunities to get back on track and rediscover their potential.
Getting students back on track is akin to conducting active learning. Additionally, creating a platform for people to exchange their thoughts including those that may have been left behind. During this transformation process, negative thoughts may not have a chance to flourish, but positive and the optimistic minds certainly can.
